What should I call that story? If I am relating in real time some events or duration of my journey, what shall it be called?

I asked Eleña to write this on the blackboard today. I look forward to seeing if anyone offers any playful ideas in their coming and going over the next few days.

She has lovely handwriting, and the creative spirit that always makes it fun for me to ask for her to scribe large (again, on the blackboard 😉 on my behalf. I’ve yet to see what she did today, perhaps I’ll include a photo.

I slept long and late last night. Long enough that on rising this morning I felt a little compressed for time for my morning meditation. Gandhi is reported to have said, “I meditate for an hour every morning, unless I have a busy day ahead, in which case I meditate for two.” I have always aspired to this attitude and disposition. Still it seems to live backwards in my mind. If not Gandhi, I guess I’ll have to be Kabir.

A few hours earlier in the dark, I thought I heard something strange. As Greg entered the room with a shocked look on his face, it seemed I had. Apparently Kitty threw up on the floor by the sliding glass doors. Greg reporting with dismay – “this is the second time this morning I’ve cleaned up vomit.” His dog at home had decided to eat the dry eraser. We don’t have a dry eraser, so I’m not sure what Kitty ate. Greg doesn’t have a dry eraser either, now. Eleña tells me cats throw up a lot, so there’s that.

After briefly touching on the tragic state of American domestic and geopolitics, Greg and I moved to getting up while he regaled me with stories of his life as a ships mechanic and skipper, another world and lifetime ago.

Then to work, the general clerical of the morning, and the tasks of the project I’m calling “Transformation 2020” – all of those things required to address the acute conditions of my current economic system winding down, and to discover/invent/begin whatever is next. Today that was forms for the government assistance programs, some correspondence around possible income generating work and projects, and a little treat of setting up, or rather completing the set up, of my new Holoport – a little computer box I bought about 20 months ago to support an initiative to decentralize the web.

Delivery of the little computer took longer than anyone expected, but in retrospect I suppose building the next web is unlikely something to be anticipated on schedule. I think it was Bill Gates who said “people overestimate what they can accomplish in the year, and underestimate what they can accomplish in 10.” Point taken.

Next a trip to the Social Security office which served the dual purpose of errand and getting me out of the house in the daytime for the first time in over a week. Lovely warm and fresh air and sunshine greeted me and although we met a crowd at the Social Security office and decided to turn away for the day, we did stop for a burrito and I enjoyed a few minutes of quiet simply waiting in the car with the window down, making a phone call to explore possible caregiving avenues available to me, and just taking in the feeling of the outdoors.

I carried the theme a little further when we arrived home, taking lunch outside in the sun. The burrito was a strange twist as the restaurant had decided that it would make sense to cover an otherwise handheld sandwich type meal in a full blanket of Swiss cheese, leaving the guacamole, sour cream, and salsa not in the burrito where I had anticipated finding them, but rather in little cups around the strange little role of cheese.

Eleña and I laughed and made do. After a bit of sunshine which felt exceptionally hot for this time of year, conversation, and burrito it was time to return to the work of the day.

Part of the journey of this Transformation 2020 is determining what stories I need to tell, both for myself, clarity, and for others, transparency. I made a list of these yesterday and started then by outlining how I might craft a daily video log. Today I turned my attention to telling the practical story of “the medical condition.”

I’m not finished yet, but 10 pages in and 4200 words later, I think I’ll give it a rest for the evening. I’m looking forward to the finished product of the first draft in hopes that it will have helped me to really think through this important aspect of where I’ve been, where I find myself today, and where I might go from here.


About kabzj

Kabir is a writer, entrepreneur, visionary, and mentor in his 20th year of quadriplegic paralysis. A founding member of the Patient Pioneers at Project Apollo (how we met), graduate of the world-renowned Generating Transformative Change leadership development program with Pacific Integral, and the executive director of Open Field Awakening, he places his deepest embodied prayer and most sincere efforts towards the fruition of realizing an integral, ethical, and practical expression of impact in the world. View all posts by kabzj

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