One week down… Or is it up?

Hard to say right now, down or up. We are seven days into this new year and, at least from where I’m sitting, not a lot looks particularly up just now.

My spirits are up. The bright smiles and laughter I am privileged to share with Cassandra and Caitlin, and Eleña, Greg, and Andrew are up. I am certainly up to a creative engagement, inquiry and pursuit in terms of writing and exploring the possible avenues of my next steps forward.

In the meantime, missiles are going off in Iraq, some fired by the US, others by Iran. The world’s most dangerous submarine, the USS Triton, sails through the Panama Canal today on its way to more saber rattling in the Middle East. Iranian Department of Defense responds:

“We in no way consider the Zionist regime (of Israel) to be separate from the criminal US regime in these crimes,”
“We warn the Great Satan, the bloodthirsty and arrogant regime of the US, that any new wicked act or further agression (against Iran) will bring about more painful and crushing responses,”

“You think Trump would fire the first nuke?” I asked my friend today, realizing I really don’t want to know the answer to that.

As it stands, I’m down for up and up to get down, I hope we’ll hold each other up and not let all of us down.

In the midst of that I spent the morning researching Medicare options for in-home support and completing paperwork to allow the possibility of a Wells Fargo forbearance period to give a little breathing room on the mortgage.

Eleña was helpful busying herself to aid me in the clerical tasks of scanning, organizing, calling for appointments and the like.

Then cheerfully at noon, we enjoyed our reunion with Andrew as he arrived to support me in exercise and weight bearing for the first time in a month. He was friendly and cheerful as usual, with a bit of an excited edge after a busy holiday season and now looking at the birth of his son, Asher due anytime in the next 2 to 4 weeks!

We had an enjoyable and characteristically playful engagement as we worked, exploring in conversation subjects ranging from the delightful madness of familial relations, the practical concerns of life, and whether or not the ignorance of the world was driving us toward World War III or not.

After a good workout and a glass of coconut water over closing conversations, we parted ways until next Tuesday and I turned my attention to lunch with Miss Cassandra and afternoon finance.

Most notable in that arena, aside from the brief correspondence from our friends at the DeepWater ( investment, assuring us that things are on track and remain hopeful, was a short email that almost brought me to tears.

Treva Adams, the woman that’s been handling my bookkeeping and taxes for the better part of the last decade sent a short email in response to some technical questions I had offered, and extended the gift of completing my 2019 taxes for me pro bono. Her very short, sweet, and to the point email gave a loving reflection of her appreciation for me as a client and as a person and made the simple gesture that she knew would have tremendous impact in very practical terms.

This was unexpected, though not out of character, and profoundly moving.

After that I turned my attention back to my writing projects, still today giving voice and narration to my experience of living with the paralysis of quadriplegia. The project was less spacious today than yesterday, but still I managed to get a few more words down in a little further in this case, into the day’s description. Over 5000 words now and counting…

Tomorrow we will attempt the Social Security office in hopes of gaining further traction on a number of our inquiries regarding possible sources of support going forward. Then home to further investigate what role building momentum in the practice of MettaCare may have in the coming mandala of engagements and attention.


About kabzj

Kabir is a writer, entrepreneur, visionary, and mentor in his 20th year of quadriplegic paralysis. A founding member of the Patient Pioneers at Project Apollo (how we met), graduate of the world-renowned Generating Transformative Change leadership development program with Pacific Integral, and the executive director of Open Field Awakening, he places his deepest embodied prayer and most sincere efforts towards the fruition of realizing an integral, ethical, and practical expression of impact in the world. View all posts by kabzj

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